Wednesday, July 25, 2007

And the waiting continues..

I spoke to my agency re: the rumors about Karaganda closing to adoption for Americans. I still don't have a solid answer on the status because they are receiving conflicting information from their contacts in Kaz.. So more waiting.. That's okay, I knew I would be waiting right now-- the question is if my file is still being processed or if everything has come to a halt.

On a non-adoption note, my vacation starts in 2 days!! I am going to Florida for my (gulp!) 20 year high school reunion, and they to the happiest place on earth-- Disney World-- with my mother, my sister & her husband and my nephew Ronan.. Cannot wait..

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Shapgat bound..

I received an interesting, and slightly alarming (more on that in a minute) email today from other parent who adopted from Karaganda using the same agency I am.

The interesting news: the baby house where I will be going is no longer named Mylutka. Kazakhstan has a strategy in place, a plan to aid in the development of the newly independent country. Loosely, it is called the "2030 Strategy" ('cause I guess they want to accomplish all goals by 2030) and part of it includes changing the Russian names of all government run entities to Kazakh names. So the baby house I am going to is now named "Shapgat"-- and no, I have no idea how to pronounce it (or even if that is the correct spelling!) So from here on out, I am headed to Shapgat..

The alarming part of the email was that the parent confirmed some rumors that had been floating around the internet for about a month-- that the region of Karaganda is closed to Americans adopting for a while. The reason is that some parents/agencies do not live up to their obligations to do post-placement reporting on the children to the Kaz government. Every adoptive parent is required to keep the Kaz government posted on their child until that child turns 18 years of age. Up until now, I have been told that adoptions had still been moving forward so I was trying not to worry about it before I had to-- but the parent's source for this information is pretty reliable. At a minimum, the region closing to adoption means a travel date later in the year-- and I was really getting excited about the prospect of not traveling to Kaz in the dead of winter! So the process may be getting longer.. You just have to stick with me..

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

After there was shopping, there was packing..





Okay, so people who don't know how crazy I get will get a laugh out of this.. First is the before picture of my guest (now baby) room.. Then there is the after..
There is even a packing plan "Big Board"-- an homage to the "Big Board" from Buffy the Vampire Slayer created by Andrew to help fight The First! I've got 5 packing lists going that include everything that anyone could ever need during the course of a month in a foreign country-- plus more. Yes, it is probably early to be assembling/packing-- but it's a lot of stuff! And it is something that I can control while I wait for word from Kaz.. But don't worry, Debbie-- the bed will be cleared by the time you and Chris come to visit!

Tenge, Tenge, Tenge


That's "money" to all of you who don't speak Kazakh! Here's what the money looks like over there-- pretty, isn't it? I was able to purchase this currency from another adoptive family who had some left over from their trip-- this way, I will have something in my pocket when I arrive and won't have to worry about exchanging dollars for tenge immediately.. For $1.00, you get about 122 tenge-- so even though it looks like I am rich (I have 12,000 tenge in all) I am (still) not..
P.S.-- Ann, this is the test-- I uploaded these photos from my camera to my computer at work, no Kodak software.. Also, the pics were taken at a lower resolution (2.5).. I might just be getting the hang of this!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Presents!


By the way, probably the best part pre-baby is now I get presents! Okay, really only Ann and Debbie have given me presents, but they are great ones!
These are a couple of the presents Ann has given me-- a soft hippo lovey, from the same line of loveys that has given my neice Grace "Kitty", my nephew Tommy "Lion" and Ronan "Doggy".. We're creative with the names in my family, aren't we? So, it will probably be called "Hippo".. And I lots of great books, thanks to Ann and Debbie.. Pictured here are the classic "Runaway Bunny" and a great book specifically written for adopted children called "Over the Moon." I haven't taken pictures of any of the books that Debbie sent, but I must tell you all that she wrapped all of them in maps (get it-- maps, traveling to Kaz?) and I thought that was very creative.. Ann & I had just been talking about using maps somehow in the shower invitations in the days before I got the big box, so it was very appropriate.. The books are a great mix of educational and fun books, including my childhood favorite "The Monster at the End of this Book" (Grover is the star, remember that book?) And Debbie also gave me a soft, cushy green baby blanket, which is adorning the crib (I think you can see it in the picture below of the crib), and a big bowl of jelly beans that she had been telling me about-- her realtor kept putting them out for the open houses and she couldn't stand the smell of in her house! It took me a second to process why she was sending me jelly beans, but once I realized, I could not stop laughing!
So, ladies, thank you to you both!

Before there was a dossier, there was shopping!

Amid the paperwork and the choosing of names, I have gotten quite caught up shopping for this adventure. Shopping for the baby.. Shopping for the trip.. Shopping for the other kids in the baby house.. Those who are forced to shop with me often (my sister Ann & her son Ronan) know this can be a tedious process: I have to check things out, weigh other options, think about it some more, visit the item at the store 2 or 3 times-- then I plunk down the money.. This is how it goes whether I am buying socks or a crib-- I definitely sweat the small stuff.
So there have been many, many shopping excursions, mostly to Target ('cause what store could be better?!) This is the only place where I have shopped with reckless abandon-- at least in the travel size aisle.. Toilet paper mini rolls, face wipes, Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, Shout-to-go-- those mini packages are so cool! I probably have way to many of them, but who could resist? Then there were the trips to Target and Walmart and Macys and Burlington Coat factory, shopping for the perfect suitcases for pack all my stuff in.. I still don't know if what I have is going to work (I borrowered Ann's big suitcase for most of the stuff and I have a child's suitcase to use as a carryon-- then that child's suitcase will be left for the baby's trip home).. Ronan, by the way, loves to shop for suitcases-- he loves rolling them around, and it is almost impossible to get him out of the department when we are done! Strollers were a big thing too-- Ann has already bought me a great stroller (Maclaren!), but we set out in search of a double stroller that wasn't too big.. I think we found a pretty good one-- I guess we will see when the kids are in it!!Then I had to hit some stores, looking for clothes to bring with me.. It is pretty hard to pack when you don't know what time of year you are going to travel.. By the way, are you sensing a trend here? I would get completely obsessed with getting one aspect of the packing done, and I don't stop with that one item until I have everything I need: a months worth of underwear? Check. Pants for 4 weeks? Check. Books for 30 days worth of reading? Check. (BTW, I found that my local library has monthly sales of paperback books-- I purchased 6 books for $2.50) DVD's? Check. Multiple Russian phrase books I will read but never learn from? Check.
Most of the time I feel like I am just spending, spending, spending-- but there have been a couple of trips when it was me, not the store, who was victorious.. First, there were the gifts.. One weekend, Ann, Ronan & I headed out to the outlets at Riverhead to see what I could pick up there-- and I scored big time.. Leather gloves from Coach for $15 a pair.. And I just about bought out the Bombay Company outlet-- I found 2 beautiful jewelry boxes, a hammer silver teapot, a lipstick case, a candle & snuffer, and it cost me a total of about $70, tax included.. By the time I left that day, I had many of my gifts for the caregivers and had spent only about $100!! Then I hit the Carter's outlet.. If I didn't have to worry about suitcases and the weight of my luggage, I would have bought more, but I picked up at least a dozen warm, snuggly outfits & pjs to donate to the baby house, each about $4.00 a piece.. I found it is really easy and loads of fun to shop for kids when you don't have to worry about the sex, or size, or season of the year! And the crib-- I definitely won there.. I found the crib at Burlington Coat Factory. It is made by Baby Italia, and is just beautiful. I wanted a convertible crib because I don't know the age of the baby yet, and of course those are more expensive.. And it is important (to me) for it to generally match the furniture that is already there, so I spent many a day, trolling the stores looking at cribs.. One Sunday when my committee (Ann & Ronan) was not with me (of course), I found this crib-- but I wanted Ann to see it before I bought it, to see if she liked it and to confirm it matched the existing furniture. So the next evening, we met at the store, she liked it and I was ready to buy it but the "help" at the store was anything but. They weren't sure if they could take it apart, and worse-- they didn't think they had the directions for me to put it back together. So, I couldn't walk out with it.. I check other stores that week, and contacted the manufacturer via email to see if I could get the assembly instructions. I received them, and decided I would go back, so the next weekend, we hit Burlington again and 2 great things happened: the price had already been reduced and the salesperson gave me the floor sample price for a brand new crib still in the box! Giddy does not even begin to describe how I was feeling.. It was great.. So, now that crib is proudly assembled in the baby's room, with the girls' bedding all set up (don't worry, though, I have the boy's bedding all picked out too-- it is just still at the store!)

Even with all this shopping, I KNOW I will end up in Kazakhstan missing something important-- like camera batteries or socks (I know, 2nd mention of socks-- my feet get cold!)

Comment away! (I know you will!!)

Sunday, July 15, 2007

The story of Daniel

The story of Daniel is much shorter.. In Ireland, Daniel is linked to two other names: Donal and Donald.. All three are said to come from the Gaelic words "Domhan" which means "world" and "all" which means "mighty", the combination of which implies "ruler of the world." If you go back further, Daniel is a prophet in the Old Testament-- the Hebrew translation of the name is "God is my judge." Good sturdy name, right? And everyone knows how to spell it and say it..

The story of Niamh

Hey, I have one more reader: my marvelous friend Debbie, just home from her honeymoon! Yes, Debbie, in answer to your question-- these are the 2 names I have chosen for the baby, Niamh if its a girl and Daniel if its a boy.. (Sorry it that wasn't clear!)

But, there are a number of people out there who are questioning my choice of a girl's name-- they think, to quote my boss, "its just not right to do that to someone"-- to saddle a kid with a name (or more specifically, the spelling of that name) so traditional that people won't know how to pronounce it. So I have to tell people how to pronounce it-- so what? Most people who meet her will be told how to pronounce her name long before they see it in writing..

So anyway, here is where the name comes from..

The name "Niamh" (pronounced Neeve-- see, it's not hard!) means "radiance, lustre, brightness." It is a Gaelic name rooted in Irish mythology. The original Niamh was the daughter of the king of a magical place called Tir-Na-nOG, Land of the Young. Depicted as a beautiful princess riding on a white horse, the love Niamh found with an Irish warrior is legendary:

One morning the Fianna were deer hunting on the shores of Lough Lein in County Kerry. They saw a beautiful white horse coming toward them. Riding on the horse was the most beautiful woman they had ever seen. She wore a long dress as blue as the summer sky and studded with silver stars. Her long golden hair hung to her waist.

"What's your name and what land have you come from?" asked Fionn, leader of the Fianna. "I am Niamh of the Golden Hair. My father is king of Tir-Na-nOg" she replied. "I have heard of a warrior named Oisin. I have heard of his courage and of his poetry. I have come to find him and take him back with me to Tir-Na-nOg." "Tell me," Oisin said, "what sort of land is Tir-Na-nOg?" "Tir-Na-nOg is the land of youth," replied Niamh. "It is a happy place, with no pain or sorrow. Any wish you make comes true and no one grows old there. If you come with me you will find all this is true."

Oisin mounted the white horse and said goodbuy to his father and friends. He promised he would return soon. The horse galloped off over the water, moving as swiftly as a shadow. The Fianna were sad to see their hero go, but Fionn reminded them of Oisin's promise to return soon.

The king and queen of Tir-Na-nOg welcomed Oisin and held a great feast in his honor. It was indeed a wonderful land, just as Niamh had said. He hunted and feasted and at night he told stories of Fianna and of their lives in Ireland. Oisin had never felt so happy as he did with Niamh and before long, they were married.

Time passed quickly and although he was very happy Oisin began to think of returning home for a visit. Niamh didn't want him to go but at last she said "Take my white horse. It will carry you to Ireland and back. Whatever happens you must not get off the horse and touch the soil of Ireland. If you do you will never return to me or to Tir-Na-nOg." She did not tell him that although he thought that he had only been away for a few years, he had really been there three hundred years.

Ireland seemed a very strange place to Oisin when he arrived. There seemed to be no trace of his father or the rest of the Fianna. The people he saw seemed small and weak to him. As he passed through Gleann-na-Smol he saw some men trying to move a large stone. "I will help you" said Oisin. The men were terrified of this giant on a white horse. Stooping from his saddle Oisin lifted the stone with one hand and hurled it. With that the saddle girth broke and Oisin was flung to the ground. Immediately, the white horse disappeared and the men saw before them an old, old man. They took him to a holy man who lived nearby. "Where is my father and the Fianna?" Oisin asked. When he was told that they were long dead he was heartbroken. He spoke of the many deeds of Fionn and their adventures together. He spoke of his time in Tir-Na-nOg and his beautiful wife, Niamh, that he would never see again. Although he died soon after, the wonderful stories of Niamh and Oisin have lived on.


So, what do you all think? Post a comment (or I might be able to create a poll-- I don't know yet), telling me what you think about the spelling of the name.. Keep it traditional or opt for a more phonetic spelling, like "Nieve"? (Legal disclaimer: No promises I will follow any of your advice!!)

Friday, July 13, 2007

Getting to this point..

In my first post, I set out a brief timeline of my process-- mostly for the benefit of other adoptive parents who are always looking for clues as to what to expect.. But it was pointed out to me by my editor & sister, Ann, that I should take some time to let the rest of world know what it all entailed. So here goes..

Once you have done your research, chosen a country, and signed on with an agency, the first hurdle is the home study. That is exactly what it sounds like-- they want to make sure that I would make a good parent and that my home environment is suitable to bring a child into. The end result is a 20-or-so page report, telling the reader about me, my home & neighborhood, and my plans for my child. Much of the home study is paperwork: I had to fill in an application telling them about my education, my family, the roles my parents played in my life, why I wanted to adopt.. I had to tell them who I wanted to take care of my child should anything happen to me (Ann, of course) & she had to sign a form agreeing to that.. I also had to have 4 other friends write letters of recommendation for me (thank you John, Alanna, Noreen & Deb!) I had to get fingerprinted, for a state criminal check and an FBI check.. Then there was financial information: my income, my debts, my mortgage.. I had to order copies of my birth certificate and make copies of things like my bank statements and proof that I owned my coop apartment. No problem, I thought-- there's nothing I like more than getting ready to do a project.. I made daily stops at Staples to get more supplies to keep myself "organized", right down to the multi-colored Sharpie markers! So I hunkered down, filling out forms, making copy after copy-- child's play-- until I got to the form asking for my previous addresses. Addresses dating back to the time I was 18! Okay, so right now there are a few of my friends laughing right now, 'cause I used to move like I was changing my socks.. In the past 20 years, I had 15 addresses-- and that doesn't even include different dorms I lived in during college! The past 10 years was pretty easy-- but back further than that, it started to get a little fuzzy: if I knew the address, I didn't know the timeframe that I lived there and vice versa.. I had to do a little "cyber-stalking" to determine one address-- that of an ex-friend whose apartment I lived at for a few months after law school.. And, on the eve of turning my paperwork in to the agency, I was reduced to trudging through the ice and snow on a dark street in Schenectady trying to figure out which house that I had lived int.. The house that I was so positive was the 3rd house from the end was, of course, not-- there was an apartment building there.. But 20 minutes (and 3 random strangers) later, I had my address-- I was on my way.

The 2nd part of the home study is the visits with the social worker. Every state is different, but New York requires 2 visits with the social worker. My initial meeting with Janice at Children at Heart counted as my first visit-- so I only had to survive the home visit. I went into overdrive, cleaning and even child-proofing part of my place. I had a first aid kit, I put up a net on my balcony so no baby could slip through, I put those little plastic things on my windows so they wouldn't open up too far. My mother convinced me that I had to have food in the refrigerator, so I hit the grocery store. Hundreds of dollars later, I was ready. And of course, the social worker didn't see any of it! Well, she saw the balcony net because she walked out to check out the view-- but she didn't even know I bought vegetables and milk or that I was ready to fix a boo-boo at a moment's notice.. What a letdown! I was looking for some props.. But I got them eventually-- when I got a favorable home study report and the recommendation that I be allowed to adopt a child , male or female, up to 3 years of age. Niamh or Daniel!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Taking a few steps back..

I think I took more than a few people by surprise earlier this year when I announced that I was adopting a baby from Kazakhstan. The funny thing is, I was surprised that they were surprised. Adoption is something that I have had an interest in for years. I worked at an adoption agency during my first year at law school, and later did an internship at a law firm that specialized in contesting international adoptions. If I could have gotten a job out of law school working in adoption I would have-- I sent resumes to a dozen or so adoption attorneys in the New York City area (more than once!). That wasn't to be, and mortgages were doing a booming business so that's what I ended up doing-- but I thought it was always understood that I would someday adopt myself. Maybe they had forgotten I talked about it.. Maybe they figured that when I finally got married, I would start a family with my husband.. Or maybe it was that I had set out a timeline for myself long before I announced any of my plans to my family-- so to them it seemed sudden, but in reality it had been in the works for a while.. I don't know, but the response was a little unsettling.

So, why did I decide to adopt a child? And why Kazakhstan? The 1st "why" is easy: I want to adopt a child because I have seen the joy a child can bring to a mother, and I want to experience that first-hand with my own child. As I haven't found "Mr. Right" yet, I had to consider how to create my own family. I think I have a lot of love to give, and I can think of no better way to show it then to give a child a safe, happy, and nurturing home. So, I started investigating different adoption programs-- both domestic and abroad. I spoke to my aunt, the social worker, about adopting children through the foster care system. I attended a seminar that focused on adopting newborns here in the U.S. And I kept going back to international adoption, perhaps because that is what I was most familiar with. But the bottom line is that, for many reasons, I also think international adoption is what fits my particular situation best. So, why Kazakhstan? Part of the answer is practical-- not every country allows single women to adopt. So China, which I had long considered, was out, as was the Ukraine. Then there the age of the children available, the length of the process.. This undertaking-- the paperwork, the travel, even the cost (especially the cost!) is not for the faint of heart! Kazakhstan uses what is called a "blind" process for identifying an adopted child-- so I won't know who my child is until I go there an find him or her. And the travel is going to be crazy-- one or two months in Kazakhstan depending on whether I decide to make one trips or two (I'll explain the whole process some other day for anyone who is interested).. It is daunting at times but I feel it in my heart that my "family" is in Kazakhstan waiting for me, waiting to be found.

Monday, July 9, 2007

The Internet is a small world...

I got a little bit of a surprise today when I logged into my blog-- I found out that someone other than my sister was reading it! None of my family or friends know this exists yet; I really set it up and started posting to make sure I knew how to do it before I traveled halfway around the world.

And not only is someone else reading my blog, he has put a link from his blog to mine, so the pressure is on! The connection between me and Matty (that's his name) is Children at Heart, my adoption agency-- many of Matty's siblings were adopted via Children at Heart, including a little sister from Kazakhstan.. I love hearing stories of other adoptive families: how they found their children, how that little boy or girl born thousands of miles away is just the child that was meant to find his or her way into a house in upstate New York, or Ohio or California.. It makes my heart full and more than just a little giddy at the prospect of the little boy or little girl who will be entering my life in just a few short months..

So, I tip my hat (imagine I have a hat--play along!) to Matty & his family, and all of the other adoptive families out there. I also thank the parents who have written blogs before me.. (Is it me or is this starting to sound like an awards ceremony acceptance speech??) Seriously, the blogs are full of sooooo much practical information for those of us who still have yet to travel, and the pictures of the kids-- their eyes bright, laughing at the antics of their new mommies and daddies-- are inspirational.. So, thank you-- and I hope my words can live up to the standard that has been set!

Thursday, July 5, 2007

And here's the national flag


Here's the map!


Here's what it looks like on the map..


Kazakhstan? Isn't that where Borat is from?


Even my mother has asked me about Borat and Kazakhstan! So, I thought a little information would help to erase the Borat image from readers' minds-- and show you what a beautiful and varied country Kazakhstan is.

Kazakhstan is located in central Asia, south of Russia and northwest of China. (I am going to post a map, too-- but I'm still not too good with the pics) And for those of us who had never heard of Kazakhstan before I started this quest, it isn't because this is one of those little countries-- it is the 9th largest country in the world! Kazakhstan used to be part of the Soviet Union, having gained independence in 1991. The area the country emcompasses is four times the size of Texas-- roughly the same size as all of Western Europe. The terrain is quite varied, with mountains, forests, and deserts dotting the landscape-- and the wildlife & plant life is as diverse as the region itself. Just about 15 million people call Kazakhstan "home"-- most are Kazakh, but more than 100 ethnicities/nationalities constitute the rest, including Russians, Ukrainians and Germans. The official language is Kazakh, but most people also speak Russian-- so I'm brushing up on my Russian! The economy is going strong, with large oil and mineral reserves paving the way. The region I will travel to is called "Karaganda", and I am told it is a proverbial "college town."
As developed of a country as Kazakhstan is today, historically, the native Kazakhs were nomads, living in felt tents called "yurts." This tradition was squelched in the 1930's-- the nomads were forcibly made to settle, with approximately 1 million Kazakhs dying in the process. And there are so many legends that go along with the Kazak tradition, including stories of Kazakhstan being the burial place for Genghis Khan and home to the Amazon warriors (think "Zena, Warrior Princess) thousands of years ago. One website I found referred to Kazakhstan as "the cradle of the world's cultural heritage and of human mankind." I can't wait!

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

A little tour.. And a test to see if I can post a photo


Okay, so I finally got this photo up on the 3rd try, and probably only because Ann was sitting next to me.. But I think I got it-- hopefully I will still have it when I am in Kazakhstan. This is the baby's crib, and yes, I have girl's bedding-- even though I don't know if I am bringing home a boy or a girl. But it was so cute! What you can't see in this picture is the guest bed, completely covered in stuff to bring to Kazakhstan-- my clothes, baby clothes, toys, travel size toilet paper, you name it. Now if I could only get it all into a suitcase..

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Inaugural Post

Today is July 3rd, and by now, my dossier should be in Kazakhstan! Here is a little timeline for anyone who didn't have to hear about every little piece of paper I sent or received:

March 10, 2007.. My meeting with Janice Bergeron at Children At Heart Adoption Agency in Mechanicville, New York.. Prior to this meeting, I had investigated more than a dozen agencies before narrowing it down to 3: CAH, The Datz Foundation (where I worked during 1st year of law school) and Commonwealth.. I had actually found Children at Heart by accident, while doing a search for ways to finance an adoption-- I read the blog of one of their adoptive parents and hooked on the children of Kazakhstan.. By the time I met with Janice, I was also hooked on Children at Heart and Kathy Galeta, the assitant director, who always takes the time to answer my questions, crazy as they may be!

March 10, 2007.. Mailed my fingerprints to the FBI & NY State Registry (to make sure I am not a criminal)..

March 12, 2007.. I-600a submitted to USCIS (formerly INS)-- they need to give a thumbs up to me bringing the baby back to the US.

March 25, 2007.. Home study visit with my social worker..

April 24, 2007.. Home study complete, reviewed, corrected and submitted to Children at Heart and USCIS.. Time to focus on the dossier!

May 26, 2007.. Finally-- approval from USCIS!! This is the last big hurdle to completing my dossier..

May 31, 2007.. Dossier complete and in the hands of Children at Heart.. Now they just need some money!

June 15, 2007.. Yay! My dossier is being submitted to the Kaz consulate in NYC..

June 27,2007.. Dossier back from Consulate and on its way to Kazakhstan and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs..


So, now there is just more waiting.. There is a Kaz holiday until July 20th, so I don't expect any progress until after that.. The current path is the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, then the Ministry of Education and finally the Letter of Invitation to travel to Kaz.. So I am planning for a fall "baby", I think..

The only question now: Will that sweet child be a little girl named"Niamh" (an Irish name I love, pronounced "Neeve") or a little boy named "Daniel"? Stay tuned..