Getting to this point..

In my first post, I set out a brief timeline of my process-- mostly for the benefit of other adoptive parents who are always looking for clues as to what to expect.. But it was pointed out to me by my editor & sister, Ann, that I should take some time to let the rest of world know what it all entailed. So here goes..

Once you have done your research, chosen a country, and signed on with an agency, the first hurdle is the home study. That is exactly what it sounds like-- they want to make sure that I would make a good parent and that my home environment is suitable to bring a child into. The end result is a 20-or-so page report, telling the reader about me, my home & neighborhood, and my plans for my child. Much of the home study is paperwork: I had to fill in an application telling them about my education, my family, the roles my parents played in my life, why I wanted to adopt.. I had to tell them who I wanted to take care of my child should anything happen to me (Ann, of course) & she had to sign a form agreeing to that.. I also had to have 4 other friends write letters of recommendation for me (thank you John, Alanna, Noreen & Deb!) I had to get fingerprinted, for a state criminal check and an FBI check.. Then there was financial information: my income, my debts, my mortgage.. I had to order copies of my birth certificate and make copies of things like my bank statements and proof that I owned my coop apartment. No problem, I thought-- there's nothing I like more than getting ready to do a project.. I made daily stops at Staples to get more supplies to keep myself "organized", right down to the multi-colored Sharpie markers! So I hunkered down, filling out forms, making copy after copy-- child's play-- until I got to the form asking for my previous addresses. Addresses dating back to the time I was 18! Okay, so right now there are a few of my friends laughing right now, 'cause I used to move like I was changing my socks.. In the past 20 years, I had 15 addresses-- and that doesn't even include different dorms I lived in during college! The past 10 years was pretty easy-- but back further than that, it started to get a little fuzzy: if I knew the address, I didn't know the timeframe that I lived there and vice versa.. I had to do a little "cyber-stalking" to determine one address-- that of an ex-friend whose apartment I lived at for a few months after law school.. And, on the eve of turning my paperwork in to the agency, I was reduced to trudging through the ice and snow on a dark street in Schenectady trying to figure out which house that I had lived int.. The house that I was so positive was the 3rd house from the end was, of course, not-- there was an apartment building there.. But 20 minutes (and 3 random strangers) later, I had my address-- I was on my way.

The 2nd part of the home study is the visits with the social worker. Every state is different, but New York requires 2 visits with the social worker. My initial meeting with Janice at Children at Heart counted as my first visit-- so I only had to survive the home visit. I went into overdrive, cleaning and even child-proofing part of my place. I had a first aid kit, I put up a net on my balcony so no baby could slip through, I put those little plastic things on my windows so they wouldn't open up too far. My mother convinced me that I had to have food in the refrigerator, so I hit the grocery store. Hundreds of dollars later, I was ready. And of course, the social worker didn't see any of it! Well, she saw the balcony net because she walked out to check out the view-- but she didn't even know I bought vegetables and milk or that I was ready to fix a boo-boo at a moment's notice.. What a letdown! I was looking for some props.. But I got them eventually-- when I got a favorable home study report and the recommendation that I be allowed to adopt a child , male or female, up to 3 years of age. Niamh or Daniel!