Taking a few steps back..

I think I took more than a few people by surprise earlier this year when I announced that I was adopting a baby from Kazakhstan. The funny thing is, I was surprised that they were surprised. Adoption is something that I have had an interest in for years. I worked at an adoption agency during my first year at law school, and later did an internship at a law firm that specialized in contesting international adoptions. If I could have gotten a job out of law school working in adoption I would have-- I sent resumes to a dozen or so adoption attorneys in the New York City area (more than once!). That wasn't to be, and mortgages were doing a booming business so that's what I ended up doing-- but I thought it was always understood that I would someday adopt myself. Maybe they had forgotten I talked about it.. Maybe they figured that when I finally got married, I would start a family with my husband.. Or maybe it was that I had set out a timeline for myself long before I announced any of my plans to my family-- so to them it seemed sudden, but in reality it had been in the works for a while.. I don't know, but the response was a little unsettling.

So, why did I decide to adopt a child? And why Kazakhstan? The 1st "why" is easy: I want to adopt a child because I have seen the joy a child can bring to a mother, and I want to experience that first-hand with my own child. As I haven't found "Mr. Right" yet, I had to consider how to create my own family. I think I have a lot of love to give, and I can think of no better way to show it then to give a child a safe, happy, and nurturing home. So, I started investigating different adoption programs-- both domestic and abroad. I spoke to my aunt, the social worker, about adopting children through the foster care system. I attended a seminar that focused on adopting newborns here in the U.S. And I kept going back to international adoption, perhaps because that is what I was most familiar with. But the bottom line is that, for many reasons, I also think international adoption is what fits my particular situation best. So, why Kazakhstan? Part of the answer is practical-- not every country allows single women to adopt. So China, which I had long considered, was out, as was the Ukraine. Then there the age of the children available, the length of the process.. This undertaking-- the paperwork, the travel, even the cost (especially the cost!) is not for the faint of heart! Kazakhstan uses what is called a "blind" process for identifying an adopted child-- so I won't know who my child is until I go there an find him or her. And the travel is going to be crazy-- one or two months in Kazakhstan depending on whether I decide to make one trips or two (I'll explain the whole process some other day for anyone who is interested).. It is daunting at times but I feel it in my heart that my "family" is in Kazakhstan waiting for me, waiting to be found.